My family and I love music. We all play instruments and sing. Music’s power to capture our attention and our emotions makes it an enjoyable diversion. Our tastes are eclectic and tend toward excellence in performance.
Well, the other day I googled one of my favorite choral composers, “John Rutter,” and found the most wonderful performance of his choral piece based on Psalm 150. This took place in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London with a strong orchestra, men’s and boy’s choirs. The flourishing brass, the clashing of the cymbals, the driving percussion, the purity of the voices, the wonderful acoustics of the cathedral, all of this combined to produce great joy. After some research (which I am prone to do from time to time) I discovered this performance was part of a National Service of Thanksgiving for the Golden Jubilee celebration for Queen Elizabeth. In part of the video, you could glimpse the Queen and her entourage on the front row for the performance. Such pomp and circumstance fascinates me!
Although you could sense the joy and thanksgiving, another emotion rose within me: despair. I despaired that I was not a part of that wonderful concert, in that beautiful cathedral, in the presence of royalty. I even despaired that I was not a participant with the orchestra or singers (if you have ever been in an orchestra or chorus you know what I mean). And further, despair heightened as I realized I would not get to experience such a performance here in the U.S. and that we put up with such inferior performances for the sake of entertainment here much of the time. DESPAIR—
When we come in touch with the life of Jesus, is there not a sense of despair in us? Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! We become undone at the thought of His taking our sin upon the cross and bearing it as our atonement. It produces despair when we realize we cannot attain this position on our own.
What about when it comes to discovering God’s will for our lives? Oh how lofty it is to pursue this line of thinking, this line of submission. Oftentimes, we jump to the topic of surrender in the search for God’s will for our lives, that we must surrender ourselves to Him in order to come into an understanding of His will for us. This might be true; however, it is desperation to be in God’s will that drives us to surrender. It is despair to sense that God’s will is so perfect, so true, so satisfying, that if I do not take part in it or seek it with all of my heart then I will despair. Or that I despair because of the very fact that I cannot attain to it on my own.
It might be time for us to quit striving and to start listening. If we let despair have its way in us, we will be driven to God’s Word, we will be clamoring for the Cross, we will desire God’s will more than anything this world has to offer. This is a message of hope that can only be produced by despairing of our own flesh.
